A Follow up to Frivolous
Art by arkano3.
It is a bit of a gloomy morning today, outside. Inside, its bright and festive and very much a proper coffee time. I am actually listening to a little mariachi to drive out the dulls. Now kiddies, don’t try this at home (okay do not try it at home unless you are ready for big sound early in the day).
Last I week I mentioned a client in my post frivolous and several of you left comments or emailed me about it. So, I though I would follow up on it and let you know how the story is continuing. I can truly call the subject of that post “my client.” She confirmed her appointment with me before I could confirm with her and showed up for it.
Trying hard not to pre-judge her, I was surprised when a beautiful, bubbly person walked in the door. She was wonderfully expressive and open. I guess I expected neurotic, closed posture, and old beyond her years. Wow. Big difference. Granted I only had emails to go by, but she was completely the opposite of what I envisioned. I mentioned this to her (in a kind way) and she said she was good at projecting what she is not.
This made me think of the idea (someone said this…someone famous) that often by affecting the attitude you want to portray, you end up feeling that way. In this case, that seems far from the reality - or her belief of who she is and how she feels. She would have me believe that she wears a mask of happiness (or good natured femininity). But she seems so genuinely kind, warm, nurturing towards others, that I think she does not see the forrest for the trees. She blames herself for every bad thing. I suspect if that hurricane had hit, she would have found some way to blame herself for it - not being prepared enough, not having enough provisions, not batting down every shingle on the roof.
And so, this is the starting point for her, diving into her self-image and finding the first hurt that caused this awful feeling of fault. Progress.
And after the session, she has decided she wants to do more sessions. She is worth it, she says.
It is a good start.
August 26th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Outstanding! Congrats to your client and to you, Ellie, for the way you’ve handled her.
Is the quote you’re thinking of, “Assume a virtue if you have it not”? That’s from Hamlet, though like many Shakespeare quotes the original context has nothing to do with the way it tends to get used. (Hamlet was enjoining Gertrude to stop sleeping with Claudius — positive thinking was not even remotely on his mind.)
Come to think of it, there’s also a Bible verse somewhere that goes, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Not sure what the original context of that was, but it’s often cited by the ‘all you have to do is wish and the Universe will grant it to you’ crowd.
<MR>