Esoteric Questions
One of the questions I always ask clients is, “What suggestions would you like to include in your session?” I do this to get the phrasing for the suggestions I will use later in the session. After several years of doing this practice, the responses are always interesting in how the clients will interpret the question. A majority of the time, the answer is a restatement of the reason they have come to me in the first place. Then there are those that use the question as an opportunity to see if I can add in some magical wording to do something completely alien to the original reason they are there. For example, if one may come to me for help with exercise motivation and answers the question as they would like me to suggest that their subconscious mind could grow some hair where hair has not grown in 20 years, that would be good.
Then there are the responses that touch me and get to the core. A recent client came in for weight loss. When we came to the question of suggestions to be incorporated, she responded, “be able to find a new relationship.” How telling. How telling on many levels. But my heart ached for her for a moment. There was the my own inner judge rallying to say something like “you do not need to be thin to find a relationship, after all you want someone to like you for the inner you, not just the outer you.” But, I kept my mouth shut and tried to push those thoughts away.
Perhaps she picked up on them because she continued, “If I lose the weight and accomplish this goal, I’ll feel better about myself - then maybe I can have a healthy relationship. Plus, it will give me more options.” Indeed. What a telling and wise statement.
So, we did the session for weight loss, but at the end she asked me, “How does one even begin to find a good relationship?” Now there is a question. “I don’t even know what sort of person I would want to be with?” I had her list qualities she likes in the men she knows. She actually found it easier to list qualities she does not like, so we turned those into positive statements. The I-don’t-like-men-who-have-no-interst-in-what-I-say became I-like-men-who-listen-and-want-to-hear-what-I-have-to-say. This idea evolved into the shorter phrase “good listener” and the list went on from there.
Then to really wet her whistle, I suggested during her weight loss period that she go to a web site like True.com, where one can sign up for free and do a personal search for free to help narrow down the choices of potential types of companions that are out there. It is a great tool - like looking in a catalog for the right fit. And then there is always the whole if-you-actually-find-what-you-are-looking-for, try it on. Start the conversation. In her case (and all really), I suggested she be upfront about the concept that she is in a time of transformation. Perhaps the contacts she makes on the site, Mr. Right or Mr. Not-quite, may still provide positive feed back and help cheer on her own personal victories.
The exercise I just explained is a little esoteric in the realm of true hypnosis practice and more in the realm of window shopping, but what better way to know what is out there. The next window might have the perfect thing.
