The Chair
Photograph by Laughing Squid
My office waiting room is set up with a comfortable couch, a coffee table, and a Straight-backed chair. This room is inevitably where I meet and greet my clients and do my pre-talk about hypnosis. When setting up the office, I decided against the notion of making it look sterile and doctor-like. I opted for the sanctuary concept.
However, I am very comfortable sitting in the chair with the client on the couch. I leave it up to the client though to decide where to sit (I stack my odds by putting a clipboard with my intake form facing the couch). So, when the client picks the coach, they sink back into it (though it is not one that is so pillowy that it is hard to exit) and I sit straight-backed in my chair and we begin.
Yet, I have noticed a pattern. It is usually women who chose the chair, with the exception of one gentleman (interestingly enough he liked hypnosis so much, he became a hypnotist). For a long while I did not notice anything unusual about these women, other than it took me longer to gain rapport with them and they seemed more resistant to my suggestions.
So, I recently had a new client who came in and insisted on sitting in the chair. Rather than talking to her from my couch position, I never really sat down. You see, I had begun to wonder if it was my oddness of sitting on the couch that was being projected into the session. Rather than remaining in the waiting room, I took her into the session room fairly quickly and finished my pre-talk there. It seemed to work on the rapport level, and yet the session was still very challenging to me. I prefer my challenges to be met in the process of the suggestion work (finding just the thing that will work for the client), not at the induction level.
It went like this:
I would begin an induction, start the deepening and she would open her eyes and suddenly ask a questions (though I gave her over an hour to ask them in advance). So, I would answer the question and segway it back into a patter that would deepen whatever state she was currently experiencing. This continued to happen. I gave her three times and on the last, I asked her if she wished to resume, just try it out for relaxation purposes, or try again another time giving her an opportunity to just chat with me (I figured I switch to complete NLP techniques at that point). She chose to continue on, and things went better. But then I heard my automatic wind chimes jiggle (timed to give off a soft tone to remind me when a session is supposed to end) and knew I needed to end the session. I had another client that would be there in half an hour.
Anyway, in looking back at my client notes, I notice this same occurrence happening every time someone sits in that chair. The sessions are often successful, but it is like pulling teeth to get there. Sometimes I wonder if the chair is cursed. 
I suspect it is more a cue for me to change my practice for those who fit the pattern. Maybe I just need to have the first session as more of a consulting type deal with a practice hypnosis run. Stuff to think about.
November 5th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Cursed chair… grin.
What’s the height factor between the two? Couches usually ride pretty low, and I picture straight back chairs having their seat a bit higher in most cases. When you’re on the couch and they’re on the chair, is the angle to them severe? I mean, are they literally looking down at you?
Can’t site a source, I’m sorry, so this is just from memory and probably has inaccuracies — but I recall there being a psychological effect on positioning when seated. Usually something to do with the fact of who is the one looking up, and who is the one looking down. Something about who is leading, and who is following. Control vs release. Dunno.
Does that make any sense? It does to me, but I don’t really remember what I’m remembering this from at all. Anyway, might be something to look into. I’m positive there’s an important point with the height thing — I just don’t know the facts.
But if you’re standing up sometimes, that would put you at the height advantage. Hmm. Body language? Do you walk around while doing it? Hard to picture exactly how it went in that specific instance.
I think if I was having a session and the person doing it was standing above me, I’d be less at ease than if they were sitting down as well. But I get distracted by little things like that. Movement, if any, would unfocus me as well, as my eyes like to follow things around.
Rambling…
…fin
November 6th, 2008 at 7:31 am
I personally do not sit on sofas - mainly because I have mobility issues and higher more firm chairs are easier for me to sit on, get in and get out of.
And yes, the position of the 2 people in an interview situation is very telling and has a definite affect. The person in the “higher” position is perceived by the person in the “lower” position to have control and power. Perhaps seating that is equal will have a more beneficial affect.
Hypnosis needs a certain amount of trust and if the person feels he/she is being manipulated before the session starts it could affect how the session goes.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Thank you both for your insights. It is really helpful to know how others feel about this sort of thing - it helps me to learn and tweak things.
@ Jack - There is definitely a height factor. When I do stand, I either tend to lean against a door frame or make sure they fill out the intake forms, but I usually exit from the room while they fill it out. So, I try not to loom above them. That would be creepy. When they have finished the intake form, I pretty much try to get them back to the session room, if they are in the chair. I am also with you on the movement thing. That can be completely distracting. Years ago, when I was a little tyke, I had ideas of becoming an actress. The very first lesson (hard lesson) I learned was to hold still, staying in one place and to express myself with my voice (though when I am truly relaxed, I do use my hands as a form of expression).
@ Broadway Matron - Good point about mobility. Interestingly enough, for the clients I do have with such issues, there does not seem to be much problem of rapport. I do like the idea of seating that is equal in height (hence the next post).