My Own World Hypnotism Day and the Stormy Response
Photograph by viewsnortheast
While I sit here, waiting for a few pages to continue loading in FireFox, I realize I am truly grateful for the invention of high-speed internet and fast laptops. How I have begun to to take those two things for granted. Yet sitting here on my friend’s computer, I take away the gratitude for those two things as I pause, not of my own accord but the computer’s.
This means that the Monday Hypno Happenings from the past week is something beyond my patience today, so I do offer my apologies. But instead of whining, I will continue babbling. World Hypnotism Day was yesterday. It sounded like Debbie Lane had a fantastic day! Terry O’Brien is thinking ahead to next year (yuck to the yard work yesterday). And it was nice to hear from Tom Nicoli (the chairman of the event)!
Interestingly enough yesterday, I did have an opportunity to educate a friend about hypnosis, though it all went a bit, well unpleasant. My friend asked me about the idea of using hypnosis to deal with her phobia of going to the dentist. She had a dentist she was really happy going to who used laughing gas to relax her, but alas, her company switched to an insurance this dentist did not accept. No dentist on the list offered laughing gas, so she was trying to find a solution. We discussed a few options that could help her (client-centered hypnosis where one deals with understanding the subconscious cause and traditional hypnosis that is mostly suggestion work). We discussed how she could find a hypnotist and what she might want to look for during her search (I am very sad to say the NGH referral network did not work. No one ever responded to her email - I write this last sentence in hopes that someone there will read this and do something).
During this time, her boyfriend was listening to the conversation. He also asked a lot of questions, but his total fear in my genre of work came flashing to the surface like a summer heat storm. I patiently answered the questions, hoping to quell some of his lightening scared responses. But it is interesting (in a most frustrating way) when people refuse to open their mental ears and succumb to mindless debate. He debated all the myths as though they were true and he had experience with it. When asked if he had ever been to a hypnotist or had researched it, the answer was an emphatic “no,” but he had seen stuff about it on television. I realized quite rapidly that he was only interested in coercing her into not using hypnosis. He suggested she use other relaxation drugs instead (they work for him).
In the end, it was really one of the saddest moments I have had in my career. Here was an interested person who could have really benefited from hypnosis. I am pretty sure she will not use hypnosis so that she can maintain the peace in her household. I can understand that (you have to do what you can to find and keep peace). But I am troubled by the boyfriend’s response. It leaves me feeling a bit queasy.
But I too will move on. Everything in its time and place. I write this as a request. Look at your relationships. If you find yourself in the process of trying to stop someone from doing something they want to do because your own issues get in the way, just back away. Take a breathe. Feel free to state your opinion to the other person, but do not hinder them for selfish or silly reasons (like your own fear). Ask yourself what is going on with you and why? Use the moment to move forward in your own evolution.
January 5th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
What sort of conditional close did you try with the boyfriend? Did you try to find out what the benfits of the relaxation drugs were for him, and see if you could offer similar benefits from your services, plus the whole “no medication side effects” stuff?
At this point, it’s water under the bridge, and it sounds like he showed up hell-bent not to allow you to help your friend. Still, perhaps the best takeaway you can get from this experience would be to consider new possibilities to address these sort of objections moving forward.
–Jaime
January 5th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Actually the conversation closed with a few other friends intervening and him walking away. I have had similar conversations with others (haven’t we all), but never one in which the opposite party absolutely refused to let me finish my sentences and thoughts. I suspect it was more his problem with me than with hypnosis or his need to regulate his girl friend’s life. For other instances of earlier conversations, I could have said it was January 4th and he would have found some way to disagree.
I guess what I took away from this is that not everyone is open-minded are want to know the truth. I just have to accept them and where they are at that particular moment in time. It was sad because the conversation did not really involve him originally and even though I remained calm for it and remembered kindness needed to be part of the proceedings, it just did not go that way on his end. My partner says this person just likes to debate things and enjoys a good argument (good apparently being completely subjective).
February 9th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
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