The Good and Bad of Being Far Removed
Photograph by 23am.com
I am walking through a shallow and gently flowing river. The coolness of the water is pleasant, soothing. The tide gently caress my lower legs and the contrast of the warm afternoon sun shining upon my upper body is compared to the water is completely relaxing. I walk on rocks, smoothed by tides and time, until I reach the center of the river. There in the dazzling sun light is a large rock, big enough for me to stretch out upon. I put my hiking boots down upon it, and settle myself onto the rock. I keep one leg dangling down into the coolness of the water.
This is a place I go often in my reveries during self-hypnosis. It is a place of sanctuary and healing. But it is also a real place (actually it is several places). As the weather grows warmer, the old Ellie-itch is starting to nag. I am alive! I am so ready to go for a good, long hike. A little nature, a few friends, no technical toys (except for modern hiking gear). Yes!
Sigh. But, I am torn. I need to visit some of my relatives again. This is a more difficult prospect because like hiking and camping, it means going to a technological dead zone. Unlike camping, I feel a terrible disconnect from my life when I am there. Internet is sparse. Telephone lines sound of static, not to mention that mobile phone service is also a bit absent). And it is hard to look at these time as a vacation because my family’s daily chores are exhausting (not to mention the cramming of stuff I have to do in advance to be able to travel there).
So, there is a ritual that also happens before I go. It is a standard conversation.
“Did you get cable yet?” I ask my aunt on one of the rare occasions that I can hear her through the static.
“Ellie, I wish you would stop asking me that. You know we would have to have the yard dug up to put in the cables. That is too much yard and it would take to long to landscape it. We are old, Ellie. That is the sort of thing we do not want to do with the time we have left.”
Right. Then I usually counter with if you had cable, you would have faster internet and we could stay more in touch that way. Sometimes my aunt actually humors me with, “that would be nice, wouldn’t it?” I am pretty sure she loathes the dial up they have now and rarely use.
“What about satellite?” I ask working to release the frustration from my voice without her noticing.
“Too expensive, luv. Your uncle and I live on a budget, don’t you know.” And all my thoughts of fast internet, of blogging while out of town, of keeping up with the business, feeling in touch with the world (they could watch BBC America, too) fade into a muddy, irksome puddle. Then the puddle ripples.
“What if it were cheaper than cable? What if it meant not destroying your yard? What if it meant clear pictures on the tele, no pixelated screens (okay, I describe pixelated to her) that your friends at the senior center complain about? Then would you consider it?”
This time around my ritual has changed, though. This time with the Dish Network new pricing of $9.99 a month, I have printed out the material. Beside me sits an envelope addressed to my uncle (oh yeah, I know, I KNOW he is the one who will make the final decision). The information will go into that envelope, as will a long, penned letter explaining it all to him (oh and how are you?). I must remember to tell him that occasionally there is a pay-per-view option for watching cricket. He would like that.
Will they give into my ritual? I do not know. But for now, it gives me hope. It may not be as relaxing as my rock in the middle of the river, but it would be nice to feel connected to the rest of the living world when I indulge in my family obligations.
