The Transparent Hypnotist

(Guest poster:  Michael Raugh)

Good morning.

First things first:  Ellie is okay.  She’s run into a serious time crunch because of some of the changes she alluded to in her real-world life, and that’s what has kept her from the blog.  When she returns I’m sure she’ll share as much of the story as she can.

My sweetheart, Julie, had day surgery recently at Newton-Wellesley Hospital, which involved a different sort of pain than Ellie’s.  Often as a hypnotist I feel a little out of place in a medical facility.  So many real doctors tend to see hypnotists, especially “lay hypnotists” like myself, as a nuisance at best or charlatans at worst.  The staff at Newton-Wellesley gave me none of that vibe, I rush to say.  They are delightful people and made us feel very comfortable.

In the 19th century James Braid performed hundreds of amputations and other surgeries using only hypnosis for anesthesia.  A number of modern hospitals welcome hypnosis in childbirth (talk to my friend Dee Bitner about that) but it’s not often seen in other forms of surgery.  And Julie was no exception.  She is capable of reaching very deep trance states up to and including the Esdaile state, so in theory she could have had her procedure that way, but there’s a time and a place for experiments and this wasn’t it.

We did make ample use of hypnosis both before and after the procedure, though.  Before, for example, I put Julie in a moderate trance to help her remain relaxed and distracted while the nurse tried twice to establish a good IV and then had to yield to the anesthesiologist because Julie’s veins were hard to pin down.   The nurse commented on how soothing my voice was.

After the procedure Julie was in a fair amount of pain despite the medications still in her system.  We worked on that and were able to  lessen the pain somewhat, but the narcotics interfered with her concentration.  It wasn’t until that evening when she could focus well enough to really take control of her body’s responses again.  I’m proud of my honey, though, because she made it through the next few days needing nothing but hypnosis and a little Advil to keep herself comfortable.  As a result she felt good enough that we spent Memorial Day weekend out and about, within reasonable limits, and that helped us both feel worlds better.

<MR>

Photograph by The Labour Party

She comes to me for help in losing weight. Somewhere along her path, somewhere between fast food joints and petrol stations with trail mix (the kind with bits of chocolate), she has gained quite a bit of weight. She travels frequently and finds herself using this as an excuse not to keep up with her exercise or even proper nutrition. That is boring, right? 

She finds her self-esteem also wrapped up in the weight. Somewhat naive and believing the pounds would magically shed themselves, every time she went to a physician and was forced to stand on a scale (finally almost thinking about fending this off with a few well chosen martial arts moves - she knows no such gestures), her heart would sink as the scale, perhaps justly so, told of her bad habits. Her beautiful clothes no longer fit quite right and she began to exist in jogging pants (the skinny little black yoga pants long too small). The mirror also betrayed her, but not as much as the everyday reflections off of glass doors or cars (anything reflective). They were the true enemy. She was no longer able to live with the the idea that every reflection was complete distortion. No, the distortion was in her head. Her stomach sagged a bit over her waist line, she had a bloated look to her, and jowls even threatened to be a new addition to her face. 

This client who desperately sought me out was myself. Since I began with the goal to lose 20 pounds (back in January), seven and a half have been removed - not lost. Have I just used hypnosis in this process? No. I have finally had to take my advice to countless others and practice what I preach - I need a healthier lifestyle. This  new life style includes self-hypnosis (for keeping me motivated and tweaking some of the better habits I wish would come easier), portion awareness, some calorie counting (allowing me to make better food decisions), daily exercise (almost), drinking lots of water, and being patient with myself. 

It has been truly tempting at times to go for diet pills or other trendy diets, but I know in the long-term, slow and steady will win my race back to a size eight. It has been a remarkable experience so far in that now I have a much deeper understanding of what people go through in trying to lose weight. I also find that the more I know about healthy living, the better I do, the better I feel. 

I have always done research or tried to find sources for my clients. Since I am now one of them, I find myself always looking for women’s health resources. I have always been tempted, when grocery shopping, to go for foods that say fat free or low calorie, totally buying into the marketing of specific products. It is not a practice that is very consumer conscious really. I had no idea what those terms meant, only that they sounded good in a healthy sort of way (Oh, Ode to Olestra). But then I go to web sites such as www.womenshealthbase.com and find out that well, it is not quite as fuzzy wonderful as I would have hoped. There is math involved (I am not a fan of math, though I see its necessity). There are certain amounts of this or that in those products that may not be so helpful to my cause. But, now I have a better idea of what to look for in nutrition as well as some healthier options.

It is amazing what we think we know compared to the reality. Sometimes you just have take off those mental, rose colored glasses, take a long hard look (put on those reading glasses and gaze upon the ingredients and nutrition information of potential eating pleasures), take a deep breath and make another choice. The road is long.

Photograph by alfredo lietor

Sitting along in the darkness, she found herself wanting to blend in with the darkness, to become a part of it. She longed for the ability to be invisible, not noticeable, not even a shadow with some bit of distinction, but to merge with the absence of color. But the rapid hear beat, the sweaty-stickiness of her hands, and the idea of not getting quite enough air told her she was not at all merging with the night. Instead she was defined, something a part from that which could not be seen. The crawl space would not conceal her loudness of just being.

The little door concealed behind the bags of winter clothes would be found. Even on the extreme end away from that little door, she just knew she would be discovered and the terror of being detected would fade away into something so much more sinister. There would be pain, flashing through like the ice of cold steel. There would be the momentary warmth of blood, seeping out from imaged wounds, and then a gradual death. Perhaps that would be a release.

These were the thoughts (imagined by me) of a past client. Was she coming to me to deal with the trauma of some fear she had experienced? Was this during a time when her house was burgled by cruel criminals? Was it a fear of an abuser of some sort?

No, this was a phobia. She experienced these ideas often as a child, when her parents would at first bring in new babysitters, and eventually it blossomed into something unmanageable. No one new could come into her living domain.

It seems timely to share this since this week we have been discussing the idea of fear and phobia. In talking about this topic through behind-the-scenes emails and such, the question was bridged about what is the difference between fears and phobias (especially when doing circle therapy). In looking at the first paragraphs of my client’s scenario, her experience could be interpreted as fear (before knowing it was a social phobia) if had she been hiding from a perpetrator of some sort who made her feel threatened (someone had broke into her house or someone was specifically coming to beat her). Fear is an emotional response to a danger or threat. It comes from an external source and causes feelings of wanting to avoid something or escape the danger (1).

Phobias are a bit different in that they are more irrational or their causation stems from a fear gone wild (2). In my client’s instance, she would have the fear reaction to anyone unknown entering the house, be it Girl Scout selling cookies or the girl next door coming over to babysit. She had developed a persistent, irrational fear of a specific thing - people coming into her house and causing her harm.

Phobias are often classified into three direct types (though they are considered anxiety disorders - we will cover that on a different day). These include social phobias (as in my client example), specific phobias, and Agoraphobia. Social phobias deal with responses to other people and social situations. Specific phobias have something that triggers the phobia. This is the rodent, bug, water type phobia. Agoraphobia is experienced by those who have irrational fears of leaving their living space (3).

It is fairly clear-cut in my example and there are of course fine lines that can blur the reality between fear and phobia, but it is good to know where the dividing line is between the two. The fear of flying, for instance - fear or phobia? Both maybe? I guess it would be the perceived threat of immanent death that causes the fear (stemming from either having known someone who was involved in a plane crash or watching the news). Yet, there are statistics that say that flying is safer than being in a moving car…so then the fear is more irrational. Hmmm…

What are your thoughts?

Sources:

1. Ohman, A. (2000). Fear and anxiety: Evolutionary, cognitive, and clinical perspectives. In M. Lewis & J. M. Haviland-Jones (Eds.). Handbook of emotions. (pp.573-593). New York: The Guilford Press.
2. Edmund J. Bourne, The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, 4th ed, New Harbinger Publications, 2005.
3. AllPsych Journal | Phobias: Causes and Treatments

Photograph by Jim Frazier

The rant begins with a tired looked, perhaps a sigh, and the door opens.

“I don’t want to have an email conversation. I want to have a telephone conversation,” she says looking at me in earnest. I nod and wait for her to continue.

“What is wrong with picking up the phone and using your voice? It is so hard to communicate everything with an email.” She cracks open the seal on her bottled water and drinks for a moment. I wonder if she is using this as a break to gain momentum. Her black-eye-lined eyes flash at me.

But she is not upset with me. This is not a gripe against my methods of out-of-office communications (though I have to admit the phone call leading up to this session was one in which I myself would have preferred email). She has come to me to see if she can get to the heart of why she feels bound to unsuccessful habits and change them into more productive ones.

She is a free-lance graphic artist and she cannot seem to get beyond the hand-to-mouth style of life and is frustrated by it. She does not have an internet connection at her house. She goes to a local coffee shop to check her email three to four times a week. However, it seems that all her potential clients (advertising agencies and such) rather like to communicate via email. She will call them to a ask a question about a job only to get their voice mail and an email response five minutes later. When she asks them about this, they always tell her that they are too busy to take a phone call and the information is in the email.

The truth is, I could easily take their side. When I have people doing work for me, I tend to be the same way - unless the information I feel they need is better being said in person. However, when working with clients and potential referrers, that requires a whole different approach. It takes a little finesse to try to understand everyones preferred method of communication. I have some clients who only want to deal with me on the phone or in person. Other’s only want email. When it comes to the people who pay your meal ticket, I feel they deserve some consideration (within reason).

In my client’s case, she has very few repeat customers because though they like her work, she has been labeled hard to work with since she does not answer email in a timely matter and is also clingy. She has heard this repeatedly. Though she is still in the “I” stage (wanting everything to be on her terms), she has begun to see that it is not working so well. Even though she tells her clients upfront about her lack of internet, this does not really help when there are ten other people who want the work, have the talent and skills, and internet to boot.

As we are still in the process of working with her mindset, I cannot say how the sessions are working out, but I still thought this was an attitude issue worth sharing. It is not a unique problem and from my end, it seems so simple - get internet (or a cell phone that allows you to receive email). Problem solved. But it never is that simple when it is your problem.

If you are reading this, it means that I am still with my mum, but may well be on my way home. Let us hope so.

There is still more to tell you about the healing hypnosis in which Mum and I have been embarking.

The following day after Mum’s surgery, we were to return to the doctors office so he could see how her eye looked. His assistant carefully peeled off the bandages (her poor eyebrow!!!) and had her do a vision test. It sounded like she did fine.

While left alone together and waiting for the arrival of his highness, Mum had me look at her eye. I guess I expected much worse with a look of black and blueness that would have indicated I beat my mum on a regular basis. Mum says there is a bit of black and blue, but I still fail to see it. As described before, my impression is of a seriously allergy ridden eye or perhaps an acute case of pink-eye.

The doctor came in ,examined her very thoroughly and said she was healing well and her eye pressure (the surgery was to reduced her eye pressure) was excellent. Then he said a few more things that jarred my attention. He did not want her eye to fully heal, he need the incision path to remain open for awhile so that eye does not collapses (or something like that - sorry all, he is the doctor, not I), etc., horrifying, electra. And do not mistake me - I do not question his wisdom as all. I question mine. After Mum’s surgery I gave her general suggestion for healing. Yes, I made the assumption she was supposed to heal. Is that not what you are supposed to do when recovering from a surgery?

Later, I decided to do a little clarifying hypnosis to support the instructions and desires the doctor wished for during the corrective pressure process. Using my favorite confusion induction and checking my mum’s hypnotic depth, I regressed her back to the recent doctor’s appointment, asking the subconscious mind to recall the “instructions” that the doctor had for her healing process. Using ideometeric responses, she indicated that the subconscious mind had accessed them, and I suggested that the subconscious mind utilize them in her eye healing process. I also gave her a post-hypnotic suggestion to ask the doctor for further instructions in how he wants her healing to advance and to engage in it, keeping her eye pressure at a healthy level.

At this very moment, I may well be on the road. I might be driving my mum to her second doctor’s appointment since surgery (sounds like she and the doctor will become quite chummy). I am hoping at this time, he will have told her that all is progressing well; the same thing he told her last week. It is also my hope that he will not need to see her tomorrow, but that she is doing well enough to wait until Thursday. If that is the case, I may be on the road to home again. If all is not so well, well, I will remain a little longer with my mum.

I promised to tell you about the hypnosis portion of her surgery. As it turns out, I was permitted to do it during her time in recovery after the surgery, as she was coming out of the anesthesia. Not my preferred choice, but I am willing to take what I can get. As I write this I am doing my best to write about it as a positive experience with the medical world. It is my choice to see it that way.

My mum is a diabetic so we were hoping she would have surgery at an early morning hour since fasting was involved. We remained positive even though we could only get it scheduled for 1:30 p.m. At 1:15 p.m. I was allowed to go with her into the waiting area. She was doing fine until we were told the doctor was running late and they could not verify when he would arrive. Deep, deep, breathe. Sigh. Mum began to worry about her blood sugar count, but no one seemed particularly concerned. In trying to distract her, we created a visualization that I would use later. I asked her to describe the most relaxing holiday she could imagine (Tahiti, very warm, gentle waves, sunlight). Nice. But then we began to worry that my other relatives were probably worrying about her back in the other waiting room so I agreed to switch places with one of them. Finally my brother returned to the waiting room at 3 p.m. The doctor had arrived.

At 4 p.m., a nurse came to get me. There was mum, eye heavily bandaged, semi-conscious but drinking potent apple juice. I asked if she wanted me to proceed in our healing hypnosis and she answered affirmatively. I began by taking her to the warm, sunlit beach in Tahiti.

Then a nurse (bless her heart) interrupted me to give me instructions for Mum for later in the day. These instructions were repeated six times before I left the premise - two Tylenol when we arrived home, two Tylenol before bed.

When the nurse was done with her interruption, my mum muttered “Tahiti, I am still in Tahiti.” I smiled at this and continued on. As the nurse smirked in my direction and laughed with her cronies, I found myself having to really concentrate hard to remain focused on my task. I continued with Tahiti but brought in elements of using the beeping of the heart monitor as a relaxation device (which my mother very much enjoyed).

I gave her suggestions for healing well, a way that would heal the incision in her eye and help her awaken feeling wonderful, rejuvenated, and optimistic (to counter balance any potential ill-affect of the anesthesia). When she opened her eye again, the one without the bandage, she seemed more alert and a healthy color had returned to her face. She also felt quite warm, like she had been in the sun.

The nurse again returned to reiterate the instructions and to take my mother’s vitals (hurry up, sit up, get out of bed, get dressed, and leave). My mum asked the nurse a few questions and it came out that the drugs they used on her are classified as hypnotics, anti-memory drugs. I mentioned to the nurse that that would have been the perfect time to employ hypnotic suggestions, and she replied that the anesthesiologist talked to Mum during that time, telling her the surgery would go well and such.

So what did I learned from this experience? Talk to the anesthesiologist. That is the important person for doing suggestion work during the surgery. I did sort of know this, but I felt the need to have her eye doctor onboard. He more or less blew me off in the end.

But all in all, it went well. There is a little more to the story but I will hold off until tomorrow. This is long enough already.

Princess in Training – that is what the t-shirt said. And there I was, all of four-years-old (try 10) in the middle of Buckingham Palace. Granted at this time, I might have been a rival of Princess Di’s, both of us, running-nose young and into our mini tea sets. Did the shirt make me feel important? Yes, yes it did. If the shirt said it, it must be true. And I thought this. I was on top of the world pretending the castle was mine (until my Da said, “Ellie come along, we must stay with the tour”). Deep sigh, I was as far from being royalty as I am now. This last thought was compounded when someone on the tour pointed at me and began to laugh.

Since then I have not had a huge fondness for t-shirts. LOL. That really is not true, as I spend much of my non-professional time in either yoga wear or hiking grab. In those worlds, t-shirts can make or break an anticipated sweat and release (not to be vulgar).

In looking at Crazy Dog t-shirts, I realize this first week or so of 2009, I have been caught up in a time of great seriousness, longing, waiting, and frustration. I mention this because, it took a few moments for any silliness on the Crazy Dog site to engage me, but as I scrolled through the silly designs, a smile began to flicker and my partner was finally forced to ask, “What are you laughing at?”

In answer to his question, I described the snakes on an inclined plane motif (the image above). He crinkled his brow at me and said in reply, “Ellie, you have an odd sense of humor.” Touché. But, beyond the quick chuckle of the shirt, it seems an apt solution for a client I am expecting to see in the near future. She is one of my hiking buddies and has a tremendous fear of snakes. Just from watching the teaser for the movie Snakes on a Plane, she refused to travel by flight for the past year. I am not exaggerating. I love this t-shirt because it is a great “reframing” of the concept (I am actually going to work on her fear of running into a snake while hiking). It makes light of the fear, shows it in another format. I may just have to buy it (heck shipping is on sale for $4 currently) and give it to her after a fearless hike.

Now wondering what on earth I am going to ask about for this Sunday’s Question? Hmm, favorite t-shirts (yeah, I kind of like that, so feel free to share yours)? Or maybe something more academic like – what is the most creative use of reframing have you incorporated in your practice or life? Your choice.

At first, my voice cracked the surface of the icy winter air, an intricacy of sound lines forming designs into the crispness of the night. If it was not for the resolute darkness, I would have seen my breath, puffing and white before me, but all I could see was darkness and a few darker forms that represented my hiking companions. Soon the icy-tin sound of my voice warmed into a richer sound, like the sound of a Hot Toddy soothing the throat.

There we were, three of us, cold and merged into the darkness of a moonless night. One of my companions had chosen not to continue the hike. The terrain was about to get touchy and she was worried about her footing (rightfully so). So one other and I decided to wait with her for the group to track back and head to our campsite. The three of us decided to see what experiencing the cold night would be like without the facade of flashlight beams.

Enviably our murmured conversation led to hypnosis and suggestion work. Would hypnosis work to create a sense of warmth on this cold night? Why not, I thought to myself. Why not use my skills to make things a little more comfortable? Holding up one of our Surefire Flashlights in the solitary darkness, I had them focus on the the beam for an eye fixation induction.

What I had not thought about was the notion of how I could pace them and see their reactions, taking cues from body language. It was one of those interesting moments, when one becomes aware just how much they rely on one tool. I had slipped into the comfort of this induction and the practice of noticing visual cues. I felt my voice wanting to waver in its steady cadence as I made this discovery. Yet, it remained smooth, as I compensated for my lack of visualization. I continued to count down, giving the suggestion for eyes to close when they were too heavy to remain open and deepened my own trance. I also suggested that we open the door to our own connectedness by imagining a campfire we had all enjoyed a few weeks previously.

As the night sounds around us shifted and footsteps, strands of vocal noise began to breakthrough the crackle of a past campfire, I slowly brought my compatriots back to normal consciousness (feeling warmer). Rejoining our group headed back for a new campfire, the three of us lagged behind, still aglow with our time together.

“I think I like hypnosis better than hiking,” said my friend who had been the catalyst of the experience.

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As I continue to remain in bed, fighting the battle of the sneeze, I have had some time to reflect upon recent events. The one I just shared with you is from the hike I took a few weekends ago and froze during the night. I write this now as both a reminder for myself and for others to check how we do things. I had a wake-up call that I was maybe relying too much on one tool. Comfort zones can sometimes make us dull and staid and who wants that?

He has seen unspeakable things, things that cannot be said in polite conversation, but leak out of him in drips and drabs, inky, sticky, and horrific. As his eyes remain closed, the quiet tears of release also slowly leak out of his eyes and I feel my own tears streaming down my face as his speaks softly about his past deployment to Iraq. He has come to me seeking relief from the tortures his mind has been putting him through. He has trouble eating, sleeping, and adjusting to the American way of life, that which he swore to protect and serve. And serve he did. I say a silent prayer that he will find healing here in this room and through out his life.

As a hypnotist, I do not see combat the way others do. I do not have to wear camouflage or risk my life. Instead I see combat in the eyes, the voice and the body language of those who return from action. I do not need to be physically present in the war zones to the feel the profound effects. This beautiful man aching before me is not my first experience with military actions, nor, sadly, will he be my last. No matter what my political views are, I cannot help but feel towards these people who believe enough in a cause to fight for it. They are special.

And in all my recent posting about Christmas wishes, when I experience clients such as this young solider, my wishes melt away from the personal trivialities of my life to a more universal wish that we could ebb one another’s suffering. But this is the holiday season, not a beauty pageant were the answer to the questions is “I want world peace.”

It always amazes me when big business steps in and does something kind to make a difference during the holiday season and works to fulfill other’s wishes. Take  for instance the Sears Heroes at Home Wish Registry. Along with Rebuilding Together (non-profit) and donations from people like you and me, they help military families with home projects that are needed but do not get done because someone in the family is serving in the military. Through their Heros at Home Registry, our donations also go to fulfill some of these families’ and veterans’ needs for the holiday season.

I sat down and went through the stories on the site. One really sparked an emotion. It was about a solider who is deployed. While away, his wife gave birth to their baby daughter. He has yet to see his little girl (and will not be able to this Christmas). When he returns, they plan to get their own house, so his wish is for help in furnishing their dream house.

Though the donations to the Heros at Home Registry are not tax deductible, the idea of supporting these people that have strived to help make this world safe for new born daughters seems quite important. The stories are powerful, whether you hear them from veterans or read about families on the Heros at Home site.

Maybe it is time we stop asking ourself what our holiday wishes are and maybe allow that to transcend into a wish to help others - then manifesting the wish into reality.

Photograph by hegarty_david

I am slow. Really. Here it is December and I am just now planning January events at my office. But, in my own defense (take that psyche), ideas just began to gel about this new project. Well, new may “new” is not the word for it - maybe “continuation” would be more suitable. When I started thinking about writing yesterday’s post about how photographs can be misleading when it comes to seeing weight loss final results (based on the photographer, lighting, angles and lens), I went back through comments and email from my weight loss clients.

Over a year ago, I blogged a bit about a hypnosis weight loss group I formed. We had a lot of fun, and the synchronicity of ideas that made the experience enjoyable was more than I had ever hoped. Beyond the hypnosis work we did weekly, we also walked together, had a healthy meal a week together, and danced together. So, what has happened to that original group? Did they reach their weight goals and maintain their goals? Well, mostly. Most made the lifestyle changes needed to keep their healthy weight and their families also received the benefits (one family lost a total of a hundred some pounds just based on food choices). But there was some slippage, as well. There were a few that succumbed to bad eating habits due to stress (one blames the economy). One could not get her support system in balance and her husband gave her such a hard time about changing the family diet, she felt completely sabotaged. Talk about a self-esteem buster.

Most of the group has more or less stayed in touch and have asked if I would hold a monthly meeting for all my weight loss clients.They feel they can really help one another and even just hypnosis for relaxation would help them continue on their healthy path. The idea that they became a support system for one another was fairly important and when the group stopped meeting, in some case (see above paragraph), the results fluctuated a bit.

So, maintaing a support group is my next endeavor for January.