The Transparent Hypnotist

 
Photograph by  Lola_TC

I have felt more persnickety than usual this year, constantly tweaking my self-hypnosis and meditations. Normally, eventually I can find peace in using bad stuff life offers as a tool for self-evolving, stuff like poll widgets not functioning on the blog or entrecard turning into just another advertising site (to name today’s pet peeves). This year it seems much harder to accept the world as it is. So what has changed?

Everything. Nothing. My partner and I have moved (sure that is big, I know), but I should be settling in, and I am not quite totally there. I am ready to be, though. 

And I cannot help but wondering if a hypnosis audio is at the root of all this. As my Christmas 2008 gift to you, I presented three of my favorite hypnosis audios. In preparing for that post, I spent umpteen hours listening to a cavalcade of audios. Since I included only three, you probably realize I am very picky. My criteria was to find ones that were peaceful and positive, the author’s voice soothing and pleasant, and that offered suggestions that would be productive. You may have read on this blog that hypnotic suggestions will only be accepted by a person if the suggestions are within the nature of the participant. True, true (anything else is another form of manipulation).

Here is the thing, I am a fairly suggestible person. I sat back in one of my comfy chairs, uploaded the hypnosis audios into my iPod Touch, and began my research. One audio really stood out (and no, it did not make my cut). It was by a British bloke (not one of my hypno friends who has appeared on the blog) and was about increasing self-esteem. The induction was really good and was sensation-based (your arms are tingly, then heavy and so on with all parts of the body). Then he got into the meat of his subject with somewhat aggressive suggestions for finding acceptance of life by standing up for all of your opinions, not letting things go, and by confronting them. Sounds good, eh? Well, it was about not being treated as a doormat and taking a more confrontational attitude towards your dislikes. I suspect for some this might be the perfect way to go, but not for old Ellie Blunt. I am a chose-your-battle-carefully sort of girl, finding acceptance in things that I cannot change, let go, forgive, and so on.

Through most of the audio, I could hear my observer-self saying, “No, no, no” but for some reason I felt compelled to listen to it all. I also thought the other positive hypnosis audios would cancel out any of the negative suggestions my subconscious had lashed onto. That is why, three months later, you are hearing about it for the first time.

Now, I am not saying the hypnosis audios are bad - quite the opposite. I do not really blame this audio for any of my apparent negative attitude this year. Instead, I think it has made me more acutely aware of things I need to work on within myself. I may have been a bit idle in my cocoon of going through the motions. Though I have not been as peaceful, I have become aware that there things I do have the ability to change within myself to move forward to greater happiness (like dealing with my weight gain, tweaking my blogging activities, writing more, doing more research in hypnosis, and so on).

Now you have my story about my three month attitude, which of course, segues into today’s question:

What have you possibly considered as negative that has turned out to be an epic precursor to change in your life? Maybe it is something small like a hypnosis audio or large as in a personal tragedy.

Today is International Women’s Day. Are you celebrating? Did you even know about it? I did not until I saw it posted on www.bloggersunite.com and as a supporter of that platform, I could not let today go by without a mention.

Perhaps you are like me and wonder what International Women’s Day is all about, so I will quote directly from the Blogger’s Unite site:

Started as a political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries (primarily Russia and the countries of former Soviet bloc). In some celebrations, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love to the women around them in a way somewhat similar to Mother’s Day and St Valentine’s Day mixed together. In others, however, the political and human rights theme as designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner.

So, are you wondering if my partner was ready with a Happy International Women’s Day card, flowers or even reminded me to locate my voter’s registration card? Nope. Instead he tends to celebrate me on everyday sort-of-days. This morning he brought me coffee in bed, along with my laptop so I could blog. Currently, he is napping next to me, wondering when I will be done with today’s post so the day can progress. But I am lingering on sites such as www.internationalwomensday.com trying to figure out the true meaning of IWD. Perhaps because I live in a free society, I do not have as much appreciation for such days, hence a reason to count my blessings and write this post. Yet, when I visit the links on the dedicated sites for this day, I see lots of articles comparing women to men. We (women) are not acknowledged as much, we make less money, and several things that make me believe we are not so far removed from the women depicted in the Mad Men Series.

What IWD has really made me realize is that in general I do not compare myself to others in the whole “women verses men” debate. Maybe at some juncture it will seem more relevant to me, but currently, I consider myself a blogger (a lady blogger in description, but a blogger in general). I am a hypnosis advocate (not a female hypnosis advocate, but hypnosis on the whole). I am a writer (not a female writer, but one with a perspective that is uniquely mine). I am glad to be part of the female sex (and am quite comfortable with what that means), but I also am grateful that there is the male gender. I am appalled at any sort of inhuman treatment whether it is a female or male being downtrodden or even an animal.

Granted I often talk about creating a non-profit for helping abused women regain some self-esteem and that is definitely a bit sexist on my part. But maybe, just maybe, that is wrong. Maybe I should amend it to abused people in general.

If we want a world full of equality, I do not think we can fight for one sex (or even race) over another - we need to have it all the way around. There is no “more equal” than something else, only greater or lesser than. Maybe we should spend our time bringing the systems all around us up and equalizing it as opposed to making it a competitive “greater than/less than” idea.

Just my thoughts. For this Sunday Question: what are your thoughts about International Women’s Day?

In every life a little gratitude must fall. Fall? Hmmm. Let’s try another word. Fall sounds a little negative in this context. Maybe “uplift” is more suitable - uplift those people for whom we are grateful. In every life a little gratitude must uplift…or something like that. Hopefully, you get what I mean.

I have been doing way too much scholarly reading and writing as of late and find that it is all leaking into my everyday life, and rather than making me brighter, I feel like it is mushing me and making me less coherent in general.

Enough.

Let us commence with gratitude. I am so grateful to all of you who read and participate on this blog. You all really make me want to get up in the mornings and write. Thank you for that!!!

For the past five months I have been tracking entrecarders who visit here everyday (or at least drop their cards everyday). I am so appreciative of the commitment that I am in awe and would like to recognize them. The entrecards at the top of this post are both bloggers who have consistently visited here for three months. Please consider visiting them.

Also, please take a moment to visit www.computer-aid.com.au/blog/. Though I am a Mac person and this blog is more toward PCs, I really appreciate Luigi and Frank’s prowess and knowledge. Occasionally if a client comes in and mentions a PC problem, I direct them to this blog. These guys have been here everyday for two months.

And then there is Rambler at Lofty Matters. She has been a companion for four months now. You will also notice I have added her to my blog roll.

There are also several others whom visited everyday for February. I have sent them a token for my gratitude and hope they will continue to visit.

So, for the Sunday question - how do you show your gratitude?

Photograph by flickrich

There is the belief that we are all connected universally, and I do not mean just by computers, phone technology, cameras or whatever. There is something more intrinsic and common between us. Therefore one might think one is never alone. But, today, I feel total solitude. Most of the time when I feel such things, it is peaceful. Today it just seem lonely.

My question is:

Is there anybody out there?

And….if you feel like being deeper, feel free to share your ideas on the collective.

Satiated. This is the word that comes to mind this morning. Last night I went to bed in a swirl of chocolate sensations (do not tell me to get a room - I mean literal taste, as in palate). Having no real thoughts of what I could do for my partner for Valentine’s Day, hypnotist and friend Kate Beaven-Marks planted a most wonderful suggestion that pushed the day right over the top. In conversations of congratulations (she is to be a speaker at the NGH conference), she sent me an incredible recipe for chocolate cake. This was no ordinary chocolate cake. It is baked in a cup in the microwave, and the ingredients are things most people have on hand in their kitchens. It was so amazing!!! My partner was astounded. We had come back from spending a night bowling each other over - literally. It was my first experience at a bowling alley. So, as we were getting settled in for the evening, I slipped into the kitchen and made Kate’s chocolate concoction as a surprise. So, many thanks, Kate. The cake, indeed, was all that!

But lets go back to the bowling part of my night. Yes, somehow I have managed to have never trespassed upon a bowling alley before and found myself incredibly challenged. As unbelievable as it sounds, there are still people, middle-aged as they may be, who have never felt the heaviness of an eight pound, Goliath of a ball before, and I would be one of those (people not balls). With thoughts of one, two, three release; step, step, glide; get lower to the lane; aim your thumb with the arrows; do not cross your arm in front of your body; it is like a pendulum - feel the pendulum affect; and gosh knows what-else, I was just happy to have a pin or two collapse based on my effort. But as one of my friend’s put it - I hate not being perfect at everything, that seems to always be the case. LOL. No, I celebrated every downed pin, thank you very much.

Now I would like to improve, should I ever cross the wood floor in clown-shoes again. I know - I ABSOLUTELY KNOW - that hypnosis can help me improve. And whether you have answered my poll about using hypnosis to increase your sporting skills, especially those who answered in the negative, I most certainly will use it. The question is one about what to do. I have no idea where to even begin, being that I am complete novice. I have some ideas, but I am so open to suggestions.

Therefore today’s Sunday Question involves two questions - the first is more philosophical. Would you or would you not use hypnosis to increase your sports potential and why (cause the “no’s” on my poll have me baffled)? The second question is about bowling. Does anyone have any pointers for a newbie?

What does your hammer look like? Yep, that is the Sunday Question. Seriously, what does it look like? I do not mean the one sitting in the tool box in the garage, awaiting a nail to pound into some surface to hold things together. I mean, what is your main tool that you use for healing? Yes, I am talking hypnosis. I am talking meditation, yoga, psychotherapy, anger-management, video games, hiking, cooking…

Do you have something that you think is the be-all-end-all? My yogi comes to mind at the moment. For her, everything, I mean EVERYTHING can be healed and dealt with using yoga. She has given me poses to help clear my allergies, relieve depression, increase the libido, and so on. Her hammer is yoga. I also know hypnotists who believe hypnosis is the only tool worth having in their tool box. I tend to err on this side as well, but my hammer includes not only the part that pounds things down, but has a claw to remove things and as well as a handy-dandy screw driver attached to the bottom (you have to unscrew it). Call it good for traditional suggestion work, therapy, regression, and so on, using various techniques suited for each situation. Other’s use additional modalities such as Reiki, Emotional Freedom Technique, and even massage.

So, I am curious, what does your hammer look like or do you use a whole toolbox?

Photograph by lilivanili

Truthful.

Useful.

Timely.

According to my partner, after reading a book about Buddhism, these three concepts are all part of the Noble Eightfold Path’s Right Speech. If you are familiar with these you may be scratching your head because truthful, useful, and timely are not specifically mentioned, you are probably correct. These are the three concepts my partner disseminated from the information in the book.

We spent an hour in a coffee shop yesterday discussing these because they keep ringing in my mind, chiming like Tibetan peace bells gone wild. In my non-enlightened way, my mind tries to find loopholes in the concept. If I can take them apart, I can understand them or so I think.

“Remember that really Rubenesque woman we saw at Halloween?” I ask my partner, sipping my coffee and really debate about putting cream in it. Maybe skim milk would be better.

“You mean the 200 pound ballerina in the white leotard. The one who forgot her bra and thought wearing a thong was a good thing?” my partner responds, savoring the steamed milk in his latte.

Funny how he knows where I am going with this, “Yes, that is the one. I did not say anything at the time other than I thought she was brave and must have good self-esteem, but it really was not something I wanted to see. With this Right Speech stuff, would it not have behooved the situation then for me to say, ‘Please put your coat back on. I really do not want to look at you wearing that costume.’ That would qualify, don’t you think? It was truthful, timely, and useful - useful to her because it let her know that she was aesthetically offending me and that it was 30 degrees that night. She could have caught cold.”

I really would never say such a thing to another person (unless there was some sort of situation that truly demanded it and I cannot think what that would be). It is her business how she dresses and I have the option of looking elsewhere. But in thinking about Right Speech, I know that the truth has to be universal, not just personal - so my truth of aesthetic issues is only mine. I guess that would void the whole put-your-coat-on sentiment. Useful? It would have been useful for me and to possibly help her not too catch cold. Yet, it could have been damaging to her. If she cared at all about what other’s think, it could have hurt her.

So maybe Right Speech is more than those words: truthful, useful, and timely. Maybe there should be codicils to it like being kind and non-damaging. Maybe this is what I was really trying to say a few weeks ago when I questioned the need to report on news that can be damaging to a person who has not yet been proven guilty.

Here is one of my attempts today to Right Speech. It is a show of gratitude. Though I am not specifically joining the entrecard crowd in celebrating a new monthly “top dropper day” (which was yesterday), I do have my own form of thanks.

First, thanks to Lofty Matters (she received the Butterfly Award from me last month) - it is a most interesting and positive read. I think she has the whole Right Speech thing down pretty well. Also, she has visited here everyday for the past three months.

There are two other blog that need some kudos, too, since they have dropped their entrecard on me everyday for two months. They are:

• Septagon Studios Inc News Blog - they are an independent publishing company.
• Mr Soleh’s Outburst - this is a blog that I truly wished would be updated more. It seems mostly tech or blogging oriented, but is sincere.

And of course, thank you to everyone else who has visited, dropped ECs, or commented here. It is nice to know I am not alone in the universe.

Now for the Sunday Question - if you were to describe the idea of “Right Speech,” what would your criteria include?

My mum sits peacefully reading the Sunday news, comfortably ensconced on the couch with a cup of tea beside her, and I, well, truth be told, I may still be sleeping. I am actually writing this as of yesterday because it is a time when I am able to get to a wi-fi location to continue to update the blog. 

Many thanks to all of you who wished my mum well with her recent eye-surgery. As you can tell from the above paragraph, she is fairing quite well, even having the eyepatch removed 12 hours after her surgery. She thinks her eye looks awful. I think she looks wonderful - a little as though she were having a terrible allergy attack, but good none-the-less.  I will give you more of a briefing on our adventures in recovery hypnosis tomorrow.

But for today, I will remain on topic. As you or may not be aware, I have been working with my mum using hypnotic suggestion to help her in the recovery process. It has been a learning experience. 

That leads me to the question of the day: hypnotists, healers, or care-givers, what experiences have you had in helping love one’s heal from various traumas? Are the experiences positive, negative, or indifferent, and if so why? 

Photograph by tradica

Ah, there is water that comes forth out of the tap today. Life is good. Long ago I learned I could do without a lot of creature comforts (you know my love for hiking), but the one thing I never I forget is the joy of the advent of hot water. A perfectly wonderful camping trip can be in motion, but if I find only cold water in the showers, there is always a moment of feeling miffed. It is one thing to be at a back country site that offers no facilities (or a glorified out house) but a totally different thing to be in one that purports to have amenities. But I digress.

Wait.

Maybe I do not digress. Maybe this should be the theme of this post. I had another in mind, but perhaps it is not quite time for that one. Maybe since having water at all was a bit of an issue yesterday and today I am feeling such gratitude for being able to enjoy a hot shower and an easy pot of coffee, I will stay on that theme. Perhaps it is a bit off topic from hypnosis, but that which is tangent to my life (as in hot water) is part of living and breathing hypnosis.

If you are at all keeping up with my progress with a few goals for 2009 on theundwinginpath.com (via 43things.com), you might have read my post about meditating and finding deep understanding about the loss of a recent grant. My meditation practice is much like self-hypnosis. I set an intent for it and allow my subconscious mind to provide answers that I seek. I have found relief from that disappointment and learned quite a lot. I have become grateful for the lesson. I know have more time in my life than I thought I would have, for the grant would have meant a fair amount of work in a schedule that seems intimidating at times.

In the end I am grateful for time - time spent well, time spent enjoying the feel of a hot shower, grateful to get back 200 hours in my life, creating a new potential for something more wonderful.

Now on this contemplative day, my question to you is: what things do you feel a sense of gratitude for that you might not have thought you would feel grateful for in the past?

Princess in Training – that is what the t-shirt said. And there I was, all of four-years-old (try 10) in the middle of Buckingham Palace. Granted at this time, I might have been a rival of Princess Di’s, both of us, running-nose young and into our mini tea sets. Did the shirt make me feel important? Yes, yes it did. If the shirt said it, it must be true. And I thought this. I was on top of the world pretending the castle was mine (until my Da said, “Ellie come along, we must stay with the tour”). Deep sigh, I was as far from being royalty as I am now. This last thought was compounded when someone on the tour pointed at me and began to laugh.

Since then I have not had a huge fondness for t-shirts. LOL. That really is not true, as I spend much of my non-professional time in either yoga wear or hiking grab. In those worlds, t-shirts can make or break an anticipated sweat and release (not to be vulgar).

In looking at Crazy Dog t-shirts, I realize this first week or so of 2009, I have been caught up in a time of great seriousness, longing, waiting, and frustration. I mention this because, it took a few moments for any silliness on the Crazy Dog site to engage me, but as I scrolled through the silly designs, a smile began to flicker and my partner was finally forced to ask, “What are you laughing at?”

In answer to his question, I described the snakes on an inclined plane motif (the image above). He crinkled his brow at me and said in reply, “Ellie, you have an odd sense of humor.” Touché. But, beyond the quick chuckle of the shirt, it seems an apt solution for a client I am expecting to see in the near future. She is one of my hiking buddies and has a tremendous fear of snakes. Just from watching the teaser for the movie Snakes on a Plane, she refused to travel by flight for the past year. I am not exaggerating. I love this t-shirt because it is a great “reframing” of the concept (I am actually going to work on her fear of running into a snake while hiking). It makes light of the fear, shows it in another format. I may just have to buy it (heck shipping is on sale for $4 currently) and give it to her after a fearless hike.

Now wondering what on earth I am going to ask about for this Sunday’s Question? Hmm, favorite t-shirts (yeah, I kind of like that, so feel free to share yours)? Or maybe something more academic like – what is the most creative use of reframing have you incorporated in your practice or life? Your choice.