The Transparent Hypnotist

Alas, the weekend is over and here I am, a tad frustrated. Between my own health insurance boggle and starting the new blog, which I manage to keep crashing, here I am with a cup of tea that has grown cold.

So, I suppose I will answer my own Sunday question about - When working on self-change or helping others with their desired changes, do you find you do better with a permissive or authoritarian style?

The answer would be that I do better on both accounts with permissiveness. I am not one to tell someone how it is unless forced to do so. I see it as forcing a moment to its crisis. But as Michael has said, there are times for being authoritarian as a hypnotist. I used to flounder around, but now if it is what it takes in the process, it is what it takes.

Now to catch-up:

If you were keeping up with the Blog Battle Royale III, congratulations to Courtney for once again (third time in a row) winning the contest. It was well deserved. But huge thank you to those who supported my entry as well. FOr the short time i had to put it together, I though I did okay.

And you may remember me posting about a friend who was trying to decide between being hypnotized to lose the urge to date or just jumping into the frog pond of being an available single. She ended up with the latter. But occasionally I mention where she is in the process. We talked about dating agencies and such. She is rather neutral in that experience, but her intuitions have told her that she needs to be careful out there. There is a Date Screening Website out there for just this purpose. Sorry guys,www.WomanSavers.com is one for women that targets abusive and cheating men through a rating scale. I also feel there should be one that does the same with women. But, for my male readers, you might want to just make sure you are not on the list. That would be awful. However, I do think such resources are necessary. Abuse should not be tolerated. I see a lot of aftermath from abusive relationships and it is always heart breaking.

So, that’s that. I am still working on the new blog that I had hoped to unveil Friday, but it was more complicated than I thought. Stay tuned for that, as well as more on permissive hypnosis.

With the big eating day looming before many tomorrow, and with answers on the holiday stress poll, it appears that we could all use a little help to maintain our stress and perhaps our eating habits. I recently was able to focus on the fact that when I get frustrated, I start craving the worst of the worse when it comes to junk food. With this I was able to utilize self-hypnosis to help me through some of the more pronounced frustration triggers.

But what if you need help figuring out if you are an emotional eater and you do do not have a hypnotist handy? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

• Do you find that hunger comes on quickly or urgently?
• Do you crave unhealthy food (who me)?
• Do stressful or unpleasant events cause you to want to eat?
• Do you find yourself suddenly eating and have no conscious memory of eating so much?
• Do you continue to eat even after you are full?
• Do you feel hunger anywhere other than your stomach?
• After you satisfy your hunger, do you have feelings of regret?

These are the signs of emotional eating as specified by Dr. Roger Gould, a board certified psychiatrist who is one of the world’s leading authorities on emotional eating and adult development. He is also a pioneer in online programs for weight issues. If you find that your eating fits any of these questions, you may have emotional eating issues.

So you are probably saying, “Great. Now what?” If so, he has an interactive (you answer questions) website to help you understand your emotions and eating habits in relation to holiday stress. Then he offers a free Holiday Survival Guide .

I am a big believer in every little thing helps. To those of you on the poll who mentioned stress being a part of your holidays, this may offer a little relief.

Let me know what you think.

Perfection. What a wonderfully, cruel beast it is. It creates standards and expectations. It can leave some feeling accomplished and others dissatisfied. Sometimes I feel it helps when a client is a perfectionist, but in other ways it can also create a huge let down.

What brings this to mind is my poor nephew (the one trying to buy my a decent digital recorder) and his various issues lately. He is doing well in his studies, but when he does not get an A, he is devastated beyond words. It breaks my heart. Some of you may be thinking, “Oh poor him, I’d like to have that problem?” I see your point, but it does not make it any easier for him.

He emailed me earlier and mentioned being confounded by my digital recorder needs (now I feel awful, I had thought it an easy solution). He has to get the perfect one, and I cannot convince him there is no perfect one. It just needs to be able to record for about two to three hours and have a USB (or firewire) port so it can be downloaded. But he informs me this is not so simple. He looked at the last comparison shopping site I mentioned and decided he wanted more choices. So now he is looking at Quick Shop. Though the site at the moment is what the company calls a “sneak peek” into the site, as they have yet to announce it, my nephew feels it is fairly comprehensive.

He has asked me to look at this comparison site and let him know if anything sparks my fancy. Good grief. Now I have to make the decision. The good thing about the site is that it list several options and where they can be found for various prices. At least I can be conscious of his budget (he is a student, keep in mind). But I may wait a bit, I may be getting an iPod Touch soon (more about that later) and perhaps I could just get a mic for that.

If any of you are game, if you would not mind going to the site and letting me know of any of your experiences with the digital recorders, I would be very appreciative.

Yesterday I talked about cheating and if surgery was cheating anymore than hypnosis is cheating, and I came up with an emphatic “no.” And once I came to that conclusion, it occurs to me that there is a whole lot hypnosis can do for those considering plastic surgery.

It could be used for self-esteem and positive image boosting, eating habits that will be effected, quicker healing, and maintaining a healthy life-style conducive to the appearance change.

So, I decided to spend a little time learning about plastic surgery today. Gemma Soames wrote a fabulous article that really captures the essence of what it is like to get plastic surgery consultations. It was on the Times Online and called Does this girl need lipo? She tells her experiences with Plastic Surgery UK (Being the Euro-phile, I tend to like the UK aesthetics and find it a little more realistic then the look-at-me-I-am-a-size-4 that infiltrate the American culture).

To sum it up, if you or your client are considering plastic surgery, you should really have an idea about what you want done before you go in for the consultation. If you do not, you may run the risk of being talked into other things and may find your self-esteem dropping even more. You will also want to see a few surgeons to get their opinion. It is not a matter of finding someone to do a procedure, there are tons of them around, but more apt, what you feel you really need done. There are so many procedures such as breast enhancement, breast enlargement, breast reduction, liposuction, body sculpting, and facial surgery. Also, make sure your surgeons are certified (if you read any of my blog, you know I am a huge fan of certification).

This was such an eye opener. I guess at times I live in a vacuum of sending clients home feeling better than when they walked in. This other side seems like the dark side if you are not careful.

Mya, who I linked to here, was sited in Gemma’s article. They seemed very down to earth and actually encouraged her to try other routes to tighten up her stomach. They also suggested she look at her self-image and expectations (ding, ding, ding, great buzz word). They are located in the UK, but would it not be fun to go over there for a procedure (if you decide on it) and recuperate there.

Terror lurks everywhere apparently. It comes from the monsters in the closet or under the bed, standing on the rooftop edge of a tall building, being alone on the streets in a bad section of town, or just getting on an airplane. Perhaps you have had clients who have a flying related phobia or maybe you yourself have one. Well, presto chango, hypnosis is a fine way to handle it. A relaxing session, a glass of wine or a cup of coffee and you are good to go.

But, what if you have a flying phobia, are in the hospital with a critical condition and have to be transported? One of my weight loss clients has a parent in this situation. They need to move his 87-year-old mother to a healthcare establishment closer to where he lives (the commute on weekends is getting to him, he has fly in to see her). He would like his mother’s care to be closer so he could see her during the week and he feels the medical care she would receive in his city would be better than what she is getting currently.

So, the phobia kicks in. She is absolutely terrified of being coptered out. The idea of spinning blades, the noise, the construction of the helicopter are all enough to send her under the covers. He asked if I could talk to her, which I have. I am not local to her, but he thought just a telephone call might convince her to try hypnosis. No go. Seems there is a phobia there as well. But what I did learn is that her phobia is focused on the helicopter idea. When asked if she would fly on a regular airplane, she said that would be fine, but she is too sick just now.

Not one to just let it go, I looked into having her flown and it is doable (that’s right Mrs. –can’t really mention her name – no more excuses!). I had no idea, but there are air ambulance services out there for just this sort of thing. Airambulance.net arranges medical flights internationally. They fly a variety of planes, not just puddle jumpers, and are equipped and are a licensed Medical Intensive Care unit. Nurses or paramedics travel with her or if a respiratory therapist or doctor is needed, they will also make the trip. Basically, an ambulance will take her from her current hospital to the airport runway where she will be put on her flight, and once she reaches her destination, she is taken off the flight and ambulanced to her new hospital.

Done, dealt with, over. Out.

The other thing I have going this week is my mini-session weight loss group. We are using meditation and guided imagery, but it is also beginning to feel like “pop culture” weight loss. Doesn’t that sound less scary than hypnotic weight loss? I am almost kidding here.

Well, after talking with the group last week, exercise is definitely something that seems fairly absent. There is predictable moaning about the subject. It isn’t fun. I don’t have time. It doesn’t feel good. I hate exercising alone. And so on. You get the picture.

I personally am in somewhat agreement. Running hurts my knees. There is such little time in the day. I am not dressed to exercise. Excuses, excuses, excuses. They are every where. However, I prefer my exercise in doses of fun or relaxation - I like it disguised as something else. I am faithful to Yoga and dancing. You have heard about the yoga, but probably not the dancing. I have a personal desire to get into competitive ballroom dancing (tango, thank you very much).

I am forcing this upon my poor weight loss group. Once a week, during happy hour, I am clearing my floor and cranking up the sound system. Welcome to Ellie’s Very Small Dance Hall. And dance we shall. Thanks to DanceCrazy.com, we can use their dance videos to learn all the right steps. Started by SalsaCrazy.com, they have expanded their repertoire. A little disco (do the Hustle), a little swing (it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that…), and heck, maybe even a measure of ballet (just kidding, but it is a possibility). It is step by step, world class dance instruction.

Anyway, Rumba sounds more fun than running. Salsa sounds satisfying. Waltzing maybe just wild. It will be a great way to let off steam and a few pounds without noticing the pain.

Looking at the week ahead of me, one of my clients is a young football player who is working on a variety of things to help him ultimately do better in his studies, increasing his chances for more scholarships. He is really an interesting young man. He loves football (though I think it is the social aspects that appeal to him), and wants a career in pro-ball (via college, “just never know what life will hand you”).

One of his big concerns is his eyesight. He is extremely nearsighted. There is depth-perception distortion with his glasses and he is not that thrilled with contacts. He is considering Lasik surgery, like LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers fame. However, my client is a little phobic about it and is considering using one of his visits to work on that.

One task this weekend was to learn a little more about Lasik surgery. Being a faithful member of the NGH, I do understand the value of a great overseeing association, and sure enough there is one for Lasik called the Council of Refractive Surgery Quality Assurance (www.USAEyes.org). They do evaluations and certifications, as well as provide advocacy and information sources that are heralded by papers such as the New York Times, Washington Post, and well, Oprah. Choosing a surgeon who is in good standing from this organization seems as wise as find a certified hypnotist. It gives one some sort of way to know that the doctors have met specific criteria and have to keep up on their education to maintain the certification. There is also a certain amount of redress for the client if necessary.

And at least now I feel I can talk more intelligently about Lasik.

My 200th post on this blog. Wow. That is a lot of writing and a lot of reading. For those of you who are still with me, thanks for hanging in there!

Today, I am pondering the client experience. I am in a quandary. Some hypnotists believe it is better to meet the client the moment they walk through the door and escort them through the entire process from intake, to pre-talk, and through the session. There are other hypnotists who have a waiting room, receptionist and an assistant who does the pre-talk, then directs the client into the session with the hypnotist. Then there are those who greet the client and after having the client fill out the intake, show a video that explains the hypnotic process, the hypnotist’s philosophy, answers general questions and addresses mythology. Then the session begins.

Well, I am definitely the first type. Many times I would like to be the second, but I am not quite ready for that yet. And now I am contemplating becoming the third type.

I have been reluctant to do this because I have not wanted to have a television in my space. I hate the way they look. I know I could put it in an armoire to hide it, but that seems like a lot of hassle (and not to mention heavy). So a potential solution would be to get a portable DVD player. It could live in a storage unit and be taken out just for the introduction. This would be real handy when there are multiple people in the office. I could set it up in a different room easily enough. However, the size of the screen could be an issue. Well, Digitalframez.com offers a portable 10 inch DVD player that seems like a decent size. It is actually made for use in vehicles (which might be a nice bonus in my personal life when traveling and such), so it has rechargeable batteries that last four hours or can use a car lighter to run it. Other things that it includes are a TV-tuner (Mythbusters watch out) and can play DivX formats (compressed files). It will also play video from a USB flash drive. Pretty versatile.

Now the question is, do I use it in my pre-talk or not? Any thoughts or experiences?

Since we are on the green topic today, it is always good to have resources available for those who are making lifestyle choices. A lot of times when people hear the words “green,” “organic,” or “environmental friendly,” dollar signs appear in the thought process. but there are ways to make this type of life-style more affordable.

The resource I have in mind to make purchasing these items is actually a guide to North Carolina nature, entertainment and culture, called ncnatural.com, which has
Coupon Codes for merchant coupons to several main stream companies, but often these companies feature green products. When you click on a link from their page and purchase a product, ncnatural.com receives a small referral fee. The way it works is that you find a merchant you like and click on the link. Before the site redirects you to the store, you are given a coupon code. You will need to write it down and use it at the end of your purchase transaction.

There are a couple of sites that do offer environmentally friendly products. One is Sephora, a make-up and beauty product company that has an ecco-friendly line. By clicking on the link, you will be shown Sephora coupons. Also, Zappos coupons can also be found on the site. Zappos offers several shoe brands, such as Earth shoes, that are environmentally friendly. Both of these examples are also products that are health friendly as well, in the sense that the products themselves can make you feel good.

Ah, so I am settling in for the evening and getting ready for tomorrow. I am not exactly celebrating World Mental Health Day, but I am doing a guided visualization session. I had had another planned, but have changed it in honor of the day. As you may know if you have been reading this blog, one of my big philosophies is to have a plan. It can allow for a certain amount of impromptuness, but it is good to know your options in advance, and planning is what brings about change. For the visualization I believe my focus will be on creating a plan for peace, for being peaceful in a way that one may not have explored before.

This all came to fruition earlier today when a client was stressing over the idea of buying a house, or more apt the mortgage process. I agree that mortgages can seem a bit evil in their way - lots of paper trails, financial words, and big numbers. We are working with some self-hypnosis techniques (auto-suggestion) to turn this event into a positive one rather than the tiresome one it has been.

In brainstorming about this over tea, the only thing I could really offer was to learn as much about home loans and mortgage rates as possible. There are several types including fixed mortgages (one rate paid monthly over a specific period of time, i.e. 15, 30, or 60 years), and then within this there are conforming loans and non-conforming loans. It gets tad complicated here. There are also adjustable rate mortgages (ARM - where the rate remains the same for a certain period of time and then the rate fluctuates depending on the economic index - what?). These are just the basics. But, if you know about them, you can, you guessed it - plan. A reference for these is at www.myhomeloanmortgages.com. They explain all this in more detail, plus offer advise depending upon your location. There are also mortgage calculators available on the site to give you an idea what you might pay in various situations.

So, plan, plan and plan or another way of looking at it is to set the intention. Set the intention to know enough about, say, mortgages to understand what a mortgage broker or real estate agent should tell you. Less stress. Better life.